Apart from being a fine game, Tetris is also a perfect mirror of the human condition. For a while the game is entertaining, and we seem to have mastered it and are having fun. Then, something goes wrong — a rash mistake, or an unfulfilled wish, and we’re fighting to repair the damage, but we’ve been thrown off-balance, and everything is piling up. Blocks that were once orderly and harmonious are jumbled and filled with holes, and our cup is on the verge of running over. There’s always a point at which we stop planning for the future, and realize that we don’t have one — all we can do is cling to the present and concentrate, focus our minds on what it’s like to be alive, to play the game, before it’s all over.

You were waiting for a four-by-one block that never came.

Sometimes we resist to the bitter end, moving blocks left and right without thought or care, just to hang on, and sometimes we accept the inevitable and pull the blocks down to us, smiling inwardly at the great joke. The rest is silence.

PMS + By Myself Tonight

Probably explains why I am feeling extremely emotional today. Together with the fact that one of my bestfriends (aka boyfriend) is not in Hong Kong and I met up with a dinner fellowship my lovely Taiwan ladies-slash-(purple)mommies for the last time and Claire Face for 5 hrs and 30 minutes! Totally feels not enough - and although it was very kind of her parents to treat me to lunch/tea (drank a record-breaking 3 cups of iced lemon tea and one green tea cream frappuccino today!) and absolutely lovely to climb up to Tao Fung Shan with her mother - we didn't have much time for a good, girl-talk! Also, apparently, storing one's SD card in one's wallet while the camera is at the repairs is NOT a good idea. Mine's been chipped and, although it incredulously works while taking photos, there is no way for me to transfer my photos from my camera to the computer today (Including the ones I promised to send back to with Claire)!! Goodness, is this a sign that photography and I are not meant to be? 

Back to the topic on the absence of Andy. He's been off to Macau and Cheung Muk Tau since Wednesday with his classmates and since I made an appointment to try out a new tutoring job on Friday and didn't want to change it lest I make a bad impression, decided to join him Friday afternoon with his lovely mum afterwards. Not a fan of hanging out with his friends anyway. Was really tempted to go clubbing one of these nights since he's not around to ground me (and hey! Why does he get to stay up all late with his friends and I must be a good little girl and lock myself in my tiny depressive hole?) but thought better of it as: 1. don't want to oversleep for said new tutorial job and 2. for some reason i have this recurring sensation in the back of my mind of how hurt he would be if when he finds out. It's funny to think how far this relationship has gone when it first began with annoying five hour talks which obliterated my sleep schedule, flinging away held hands and those more than enough four-dates-a-month. Two and a half days, piece of cake. Time for me to catch up with my girlfriends, go to fellowship, catch up on some non-sociology readings, party to celebrate the beginning of Seoul, floral summer dresses and the Great Wall. Without a skinny white monkey trying to stick my fingers up HIS  nostrils. Bellowing into my ears all the time. Scratching my already itchy and bulging mosquito bites. Ordering me to pick up his socks (which I still refuse to do). Then see me now, with a faucet for a nose, wishing for another dose of our daily late-night phone calls. The idiocracy of it all is indeed very, very amusing - if only I were not the subject. Ha. 

Curious how Claire constantly wanted to converse in Cantonese while I was desperate to have a normal conversation in English! At one point of our "hike" to Tao Fung Shan I remember her squealing as she rushed to her mother's side, "Mummy, your bag looks very heavy, do you want me to carry it for you?". While we were sipping our buy-one-get-one-free Frapps at Starbucks, after she gave up trying to persuade her mum to allow her to work part-time during the semester, "Well when I graduate, I'll pay back all the money you've lent me - no - my money will be your money!". Recalling our conversation in her green jeep regarding churches and peoples... to our bra-buying expeditions and "no-longer" interest in low-quality and cutesy clothing. Rarely have I met anyone so like-minded! (My sister and I are an unbeatable pair but we are nearly polar opposites!). Our short encounter led to a sent email to my dearest mummy regarding my fickle plans for the future. I've always had the "responsibility", or burden so to say, to provide the best for my family, even considering undertaking law and medical fields to support them financially in their missions work as I feel that my calling is more behind the scenes than frontal (short missions aside). Confusion and lack of direction is another thing, I am beginning to doubt if my passion is in fine arts, and if so, then will I be not utilizing what I am capable of? Or perhaps I have just not realized my interest in medicine and the like? Another worry thats been slipping in and out of my brain lately is, what do I do after graduation? Masters, when academics is still fresh in mind? Work for experience - if I do immediately pursue a post-grad in fine arts I would not enter the work-force until I am 25! Location matters, too. 

Luckily, I have a whole lot of mummy and non-mummy figures giving me advice! (and prayers!) 

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” 

- Ernest Hemmingway

10hkd find from the flower market street of mong kok.